Where do pens come from?

I buy pens in bulk.  I only buy one kind - Pilot G-2 in black - but I do like variety so sometimes I get the .07 size, but usually it is .05 or even the new 0.38.  So, I ask you, where do all these other pens come from in my house?  In my "Uncle Joe's Mint Balls" pen jar in the kitchen, and my office jam-jar right now there is a Bic GripRoller, a Uniball Vision Elite (blue!!),  a Pilot Precise V5 (again with the blue!!), a Pilot V Ball Grip, a Bic stick pen (horrors), a Bic Soft Feel (semi-horrors), and a Monterey Family History Center pen (okay, I know where that one came from).  I cannot possibly be expected to use one of these inferior pens. And where have all my Pilot G-2s gone?  I only count four.  I can only conclude one thing:  Pens are migratory.

I spend a lot of time studying human migration patterns and it is very interesting.  I imagine tracking the life of a pen until the day it runs out of ink, and if it doesn't just end up in a junk drawer (or drunk drawer as one of my kids used to say), it would have an interesting tale to tell.  Seriously.  Think of how far one pen could travel, and all the things it could witness.

I think there is a flow of pens in the universe that is a kind of yin yang thing - it all balances out.  When there is an imbalance in a home or purse caused by an influx of pens, a certain number of pens are required to leave.  I hate to point fingers, but I think Reed unwittingly tips the scales with the stray pens that make their way into his shirt pocket and then onto the counter and then into the "Uncle Joe's Mint Ball" jar.  I am not worried about his many clients losing pens to him, though, because I know that Universal Pen Yin Yang will balance things out for them.  And they, too, will learn to love Pilot G-2s in black.  (They are archival-safe, you know.) And don't even get me started on pencils.